God, yet another one. Damn, they just keep happening! Just how many amazingly talented people have gone south, then ended up leaving the planet, in the last oh-so-many years?
Way too many. Why does it seem like the most talented icons of our time seem to have such untimely demises? So many died young, or perhaps just went down the tubes, and will never recover. Does it seems like the costs of being so gifted are so very high to living a normal existence on earth?
It would seem so, in some of the cases. If one is looking for the cause of such a syndrome, it would be multi-faceted. The most talented, the ones that went to the top so very fast, seem to be the ones that head to the bottom in an equal amount of time.
This problem of illusion and escape - away from the mundane realities of life - is a question of these souls - to stay in the Land of Nirvana permanently, without having a care in the world.
And yet.... we ask this - why is that the need? That need to stay in that elevated rarefied atmosphere of incredible highs when the right note is hit with perfection, when the lick is played just right, when the orchestra hits the final note, and there’s a hush in the crowd before the rush of applause - when the whole body and soul expands beyond limits; when the rush starts at the toes, and moves up to the heart and we feel it completely release - then up through the head and up to God. That feeling is an incredible drug, and musicians/artists alike search for that peak experience their whole lives. And when they cannot, they try and create it artificially, through addictions to just about anything that will recreate that feeling in the soul, of that point of esctatic release. There is something omnipotent in that space, and it bestows the person experiencing that, a feeling of absolute mastery and feeling that somehow the center of the universe is theirs, for the bidding.
If most of us had that kind of experience, it would be something we would want more of. But those like Whitney, Amy, Michael - there was something else driving that need. And that was the need to raise the veil of invisibility for long enough to have the world see them - because, some part of them felt invisible.
With every signature of great musical ability, also came the desparate need to be noticed and accepted. The pain of a soul, that seemingly had a life contract that said “I don’t exist, or I am not seen” is almost the most difficult, and the most painful. This kind of pain, or dark emotional matter, had to live in the same body with the divine talent. Perhaps the talent had to come from the pain? Yes, both sides juxtaposing the divine with the dark at the same time. To perform they way did, they had to translate their inner pathos into the lyrics and the music they wrote. And the pain of their lives, at some point, would surface - either in the music, or in the private life becoming public.
All of these experiences come from the planet Neptune. Neptune’s domain seems to embody both these sides - the capacity of incredible nirvanic experiences, along with the abject fear that all of what happens/happened is not real. That is the real fear - and that fear drives the person to making sure, at all costs, that there is a constant seeking of the nirvana of Neptune. It is truly like what an addict would say - that the first time on the drug was the best, and successive usage is driven by the need to recreate that first experience.on the new drug. This experience isn’t too far from the surface, but way down below, there’s that fear of not being accepted, and finally the fear of not existing, or being seen.
Whitney’s gift was evident early, and was told at a very early age what her destiny was. Lots of responsiblity for that young girl - to live up to everyone elses’ expectations of her. Her own chart shows that - the artistic soul with a lot of responsibility to everyone else - and an expectation that she had to do what she was told. That could honestly be felt as confining, and later on she went on to marry someone that was a ‘bad boy” and wasn’t received too warmly into the family. That was her way of rebelling. Her gift came pretty easy, but she paid for that in the difficulties of life around her. She ultimately broke away from the nucleus of that family, but it cost her. She very well have met and married someone just to rebel, and not use good sound judgement on the candidate she selected for marriage. With her soul being pretty needy (if the life-script is one of non existence, the individual will become very needy of the mirror - the mirror that reflects back to her that others know she is there), that translated into extremely co-dependent situations with people in her life, most especially with her former husband. In later years, her drug addiction took over, as her demons and emotional pain was encroaching more and more on her conscious mind, trying to help her deal with those fundamental feelings/fear of non-worthiness/non existence. She kept running away from that, and it kept persuing her.
In the end, it found her. She was overcome, very likely, by the water - which I think symbolizes that her own denied emotional state had finally claimed the victim. A Katrina of sorts, as the water reclaimed New Orleans.
If onlys are pointless, but if she had owned her own emotional pain, and dealt with it, she might still be here. What a lesson in sadness.
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