Occupying.....and regrouping.

The world, right now, is seemingly shifting off its axis - at least it feels this way to just about everyone that is not working, or living on the edge of perceived disaster.  In my own life, I cannot recall a more tenuous time; things feel alive, yet scary.  Dynamic, yet unstable - and angry, yet happy.  The doom and gloom scenario is in full swing; we have an election next year, without really knowing what the lay of the political land looks like yet.  There is no real front runner in the Republican party, and President Obama’s presidency is seemingly hanging by a thread, ready to implode at any moment. Everything is hinging on the world economy, which is very quickly starting to free-fall.  And now, increasing by the day - is the Occupy movement, which started out as a few people protesting on Wall Street in New York about corporate greed, and now its in at least 250 cities.

What is all this, really?  What is really going on behind all the chaos of the world?  An extraordinary time of complete shifting of consciousness.  That is the engine behind the chaos.  It is glaringly apparent that the systems that we know are now failing, and failing fast.

What we have to look at is this: what is economic abundance, really?  Is it held at the top 3% of the population with the rest of the minions just getting scraps?  Or, perhaps as President Obama is really telling us, is that wealth in this country must be shared by all.  That’s the money situation - but also, how about how we hold money?  Do we hold it as though we deserve it, and have our needs met, or do we scrimp for every dime, and always feel like we never have enough?  Each of us has to ask that question of ourselves.  If we have enough, and that isn’t just money - its abundance of life, of energy ,of health, of creativity, of purpose - its all those things.  A rich, full life with meaning.  The rest is just gravy. 

We are at a crossroads now, where we must, each and every one of us, must ask ourselves what our value is, and what we can do to manifest our own personal destiny.  The power in the self comes from absolute total integration of everything we are, and discarding what we are not.  When we are manifesting on all levels, we have utter and total joy in our lives.  Perhaps its time for the world at large - our government and its peoples - to look at being the best humans we were meant to be.  We have to go back to ourselves, at square one, and refind what brings us fulfillment, on all levels.  And bring joy and radiance into the world.
 
Its way over due, and about time.

A sense of inner grace....

As Venus moves into my 4th house, and Saturn right behind it - something is happening, and it feels really good.  That is to say, that inner serenity and new boundaries are starting to be rebuilt.  This is involving the jettinsoning of certain people that tend to bring nothing but drama and stress.  After all, this lesson is about the solidification of my love for my own inner self, and those things and people that don’t support that, or perhaps impede my connection to the inner grace I seek, will likely be phased out, albeit in a gentle way.  We don’t usually pay much attention, most times, to the smaller transits of the inner planets, but there has been a noticable shift in my sense of personal peace, since Venus and her graceful self, moved ever so delightfully into my 4th house.  Which would support this:  that transits into the 4th - no matter how small or large - is an event to be noticed and integrated, in the larger whole.  And as Venus and Saturn move onto my Neptune, lets just see how romantic it all gets.  What fun!!

Resting...and inward focus

As I sit at my computer at 4:30am, I was awakened by thoughts of the previous days events.  I was taken to task about my “lack of participation” in my work, at work.  I’ve reached what I would call an apathy state there - so many things I have to do to keep ahead of the game there: all the competition, all the keeping the numbers rising game, etc.  And I’m tired.  My vacation was a time for total rest, plus a health scare.  That scare, although things are fine, got me to see that I am indeed getting older, and things are happening to my body that I don’t particularly like.  And now I deal with this feeling of not participating in my existing life in the same way.  I am going within, quite a bit, and wanting time alone, at home.  Interesting, the “have-to’s” in life, just don’t seem to matter, right now.  I know that I could likely turn all that around at work, but frankly, its not important to my growth anymore.  Been there, done that.  I am not one that looks to be Number One - I just want that for my own life. 

This is my upcoming transit of Saturn into the 4th (and Saturn transiting over Neptune, too) - where I go within and take emotional stock of my life.  It is rather hard to explain this to my employer, who seems to want more and more of me, every minute.  I don’t have it to give to them, and so, this might mean things will change in that arena - perhaps sooner than later.  However, I cannot run away from myself and my desires, which will, I am certain, come more to light in the next few months, as Saturn egresses into my own inner domocile.  I am keenly aware that more illusions will fall, but welcome the clarity Saturn will bring to this part of my life, even if it is difficult.  I feel this funny urge to connect with children - I chose not to have kids this lifetime - perhaps to find an inner child I need to adopt during these more serious, adult times.  To find laughter and fun, in the middle of the difficult hours. 

A time for rest....

This week, I am on vacation from my regular job.  Its time for some huge changes - I can feel it.  During this week off, I have a chance to clear some decks, and look at whats going on in my life - and where necessary, make some changes.  My 2nd Saturn return is officially done, but now the real work starts.  Can I apply the renewed set of values to my present situation - and shift things in my everyday life? 

The timing of this vacation is more than just about my everyday work - its about my life, moving on from this point.  Do I want to live as I have, or step into what is really right for me?  I’ve had a chance to look at all that during my Saturn return - and now the physical reality and my own perception of reality seem very different.  I am coming up to a major transit - actually, I’ve already been in the beginnings of it - witih Pluto squaring Mercury.  Time for some hard truths - not just knowing that in my head - but telling the truth to others.  Brutal honesty.  The polite person I have been (Saturn opposing Mercury, natally), might not be so polite in the future.  As above, so, below...

Saturn keeps on keeping on...and now for the next Reality Bite...

More and more lessons - and shocking ones too.  For a few months earlier this year, I had attempted a collaboration with a former actor that could have ended up as a television series.  The long and short of it is, is that it never happened - because of differences in artistic temperment.

If only it had been that simple.

I had admired this actor since childhood, and admittedly viewed him through 14 year old eyes when he and I were connecting.  In the end, however, the real person showed up, and have now found out he is considered a complete “nut” in the eyes of those in the acting community.  What a jolt this has been - first to get involved with someone that wasn’t all what he had seemed - and to be letting go of my teenhood illusions in a very harsh way.

This has been Saturn’s doing - Saturn stripped off the veneer of my own fantasies to see something that wasn’t pretty to look at. 

And I wouldn’t have missed this experience, because it has me looking at life more head on, and with less fear. 

With every loss, there's a gain...

My Saturn Return phase has completed itself, with a lot of gains, and now, here's a major loss:  I loss a dear friend yesterday.  And I find myself feeling angry.

Angry because was only 58.
Angry because her health symptoms weren't taken seriously enough.
Angry that she didn't see a doctor
Angry that she's gone. 
Angry that she probably died in a lot of pain.
Angry that she died alone on her floor, and was deceased when she was found.

She was a beloved and loved human being, who was incredibly gifted as an artist, and as a psychic.  I remember talking to her recently and she was looking forward to HER 2nd Saturn return, and wanted me to tell her what might happen.  Now, she's not going to even have it.

The loss here, though - does yield gains:  the lesson that she is teaching us is - do your life, your purpose, your potential, and do it 100%, like she did - and don't WAIT.  She had a rich, full life, and a family and friends that loved her deeply. And I'm glad to say I'm one of them.

God bless you, Christine Winters - you will be missed.

Pluto, Uranus and Mars....oh, my...

The next several days - actually most of the rest of this month - are going to be intense for many of us.  Pluto, Uranus and Mars are coming into a tight T-square as we speak.  Clearly, at least to me, this is a gigantic window to clear the decks for huge change.  As we are seeing right now, the world economy is fighting to stay stable, but isn't doing a good job of it.  We're trying to hang onto what we have known, or what has given us security - and its very quickly morphing into something very new, and frankly, quite frightening.  The issues have to do with the power we have, and what kinds of actions do we take in order to help us restructure that power base within us.  This country is feeling it, right on the front lines.  Our own sense of personal security and connections to our families and a collective body of people, is shifting wildly.  Loyalties are being tested.  The key here, is staying centered within your own biosphere, and riding out this very strange wave of energy.  With Mars adding fuel to the two outer planets, I suspect actions will be taken that aren't always wise, but might be necesssary to clear out the energies from the past.  I also expect tempers to flare, and people might start fighting back - especially if their security is threatened.  And, from some point of view, it probably is.

So, the question is - can you remain calm in the middle of this not-so-perfect storm?  Find your areas where you go to, within, that will center and ground you.  And act, not react...when the time is right.

Starchild

The words to a song that means so much to me, by the fantastic group, Level 42:

STARCHILD

When I was an infant in my mothers arms
I would watch the starlight in her face
'Cause I was reaching out to understand the cosmic charm
I am just a starchild born in space.

Way up high above the sky all that beauty passes by
Whole worlds still unknown
And out beyond the blue there's a place for people too
It's time for us to go.

I have seen the sun shine bright in paradise
I have been there, I have seen it
Everywhere space people stare through ageless eyes
I have seen them, I believe it

Way up high above the sky all that beauty passes by
Whole worlds still unknown
And out beyond the blue there's a place for people too
It's time for us to go

We have time
(In my dreams)
Time and space
While we're young
(Floating free)
We can chase
The stars.

Searching for the magic in the universe
Guided by the stars that light my way
I have seen the sun shine bright in paradise
I am just a starchild born in space

If you want to go with me I'll take you there
I've been shown these secrets face to face
I have seen the sun shine bright in paradise
I am just a starchild born in space

 To see the video of this song:
http://m.youtube.com/watch?gl=US&hl=en&client=mv-google&v=awaIuNGx9MI&fulldescription=1

You know what I LOVE about Saturn....?

....I love the feeling of maturity in the middle of a minor crisis.  This morning my track pad on my computer was acting up (Saturn in opposition to Mercury in my natal chart, not to mention Mercury going Rx tomorrow), and I get a stuck cursor!  For about three minutes I had a hissy, then said - well, get it fixed.  So, I head down to the Apple Store, which in of itself is impressive, and got it fixed in 1/2 hour, and no charge. 

The opportunities for having a level head will no doubt be abundant over the next few days.  In the end, my own reaction was minor. 

I realized that our computers are like our kids - if they're sick, you're sitting there waiting while they take the little guy back to the "examining room" for its diagnosis.  Wringing our hands until the doctor comes back with the little fella saying he's just fine, it just needed some cleaning, thats all - changing its little nappy, I guess!  More Saturn moments of reflection....

Geez its been so long....

Its been over a month since I posted - I am feeling the direct result of Saturn's full last pass over my own Saturn - in about 10 days time.  My fatigue is great, my time doesn't seem my own right now, and I'm doing a lot of reflecting about being the age I am.  I actually wouldn't trade my age for anything younger, because its nice to have a little wisdom under my belt these days.  Funny how situations are testing my level of maturity right now.  My reactions have been a wee bit childish, but by and large, I'm noticing a lot of people around me being like kids, and I feel like a parent - even though I never had children this lifetime.  Maturity sometimes comes with a rather detached attitude, with less emotionalism and more stability.  I plan on blogging a bunch in the next few days leading up to this final leg of my 2nd Saturn return.  Feels like a ways to go.....

Well, this was nothing short of hysterically funny...

A fascinating bit of astrological goofyness yesterday.  A heads up:  Right now, Mercury is unaspected.  No contacts whatsoever to anything else in the current chart.  Any time you get one of those in a chart - it acts like its on its own circuit.  You will have issues of integrating that planet into the rest of the whole. 

I was wondering what that might bring to all of us. Well, I found out.

My BlackBerry decided it was going to post on Facebook without me knowing about it (I was at work, and came back and saw all the activity on my page.  (Go to my profile page to see what it was up to). The accompanying responses by many of you were hysterically funny, not to mention the posts my little BB did on its own.  It was like a little baby gurgling on the screen....

This is a great example of Mercury unaspected.  I’m telling you - Mercury is acting like its retrograde, so watch out for this!  Very odd, out of the blue weird stuff with anything that is related to communications..  Imagine a person with this - who could shoot their mouth off, and not know what the heck they said. 

Well, my phone did it. 

As Saturn is NOW direct...:)

... things seem to be moving forward again!  I have been remiss in posting here for a while, but perhaps, like many of you, you've been waiting in the bullpen to see which way all of this was going to flush out.  Since I have Neptune conjoined Saturn in my own chart, I almost have to wait until the tide comes in, before I can see what my next move is.  And it looks like a full length piece on the actor, Rock Hudson.  I've been curious about him for many years, and have read much about him.  Because this is my Saturn return, it would seem almost natural to go back and read his biography again, and I did.  This time, Saturn was reading through my own eyes, and I noticed something I hadn't before.

Rock's life was Saturn-timed, throughout its entirety.  I have some research to do, but it looks like most of his major life events took place during Saturn transits, and events.  Of course, he had Saturn/Sun conjunction in Scorpio, which would emphasize the Saturn connection that his life had.  But the astounding developments in his life - and he had a remarkable one - all happened to coincide when Saturn was doing something significant in his chart.  Stay tuned - as I research this, I'll share more with you all.  My plan, too, is to take a very deep look at his life, through the astrological lens. 

As Saturn gets closer to going direct...

....it feels like time is compressing on itself.  At the very least, I am becoming acutely aware of the minutes and the hours that are passing.  Time has become very vivid...feeling how much I have to relax, to work, to play...The importance of looking at just how valuable our time is, and accordingly, how we must cherish it - and not give it away to just anything.  I am in my 2nd Saturn return now, and I have had less and less free time to wind down after a working week.  I feel I am working hard, and gaining a lot of energy from being productive.  But, I also know, that time off from work is necessary to gain perspective on what is important in my every-day life.  For my Moon in Virgo, which loves nothing more than to work is a** off, there is still a time to relax, and enjoy my strange attempts at perfection.  HA!  New office stuff makes me really happy.

But I digress.  The lessons here for now, seem to be just on how valuable our time is, and are we being paid what we're worth?  A question for future digestion....Comments?

A strange feeling...

...in a few days Saturn is going direct, and my body feels it today.  Tired, worn out, and sluggish.  I took the day off from work, so i could just STOP and rest.  If thats what you're feeling right now, this is normal.  Saturn has a way of reminding us where we're not being attentive to our own needs, and can - and usually does - stop us with some kind of physical or mental issue that cannot be ignored.  I know some of those on the page I have on facebook are experiencing a crisis of choice - making hard choices in their lives, that could have the end effect of ending personal situations that might get in the way of professional advancement.  The choice is likely professional - sometimes God will hand us an opportunity that must be acted upon, and it is up to us to move forward, even if we've got all the reasons why we can't.  You take the fear, doubt and move ahead with courage - knowing that whatever the outcome, you at least know you did it.

Good Morning Saturn!!

For those of you who aren't feeling it - you will be, soon enough.  We've got Mr. Saturn changing direction in nine days, so just about all of you will feel as though the pressure is on.  I was thinking about where I was being "pressed' and perhaps it was to get this blog up and going.  I rarely sit in front of my computer for long, but I did yesterday.  We're always tested on our level of commitment to something - ourselves, our career, life direction - during intense Saturn times.  Given I'm going through my 2nd Saturn return right now, I'm not immune.  I actually LOVE Saturn more than most people, because it comes through my own mind (Mercury/Saturn aspect)- helping me focus and have clarity of thinking - although the moments leading up to that kind of thing can be strugglesome.  In the end, though, I just keep going.. :)

Needs tons of editing...

but I'm on my way.  I am not sure yet how to set up followers, but will get to that ...hopefully you all will be posting on here shortly!

The first BLOG on this site!!

Hello everyone!!! This is my first blog on my new site!!!  I hope all of you will join up, and share!!  Many blessings!  Eileen